Keeping my Distance
by moonstone-91
Summary: Diary entries from Rogue to the Psychiastrist. "Dear Jean,I am pre-emptively stating that you are not, under any circumstances, to analyze the following statement:I am in like." RxR
1. My Name is Rogue

**Keeping My Distance**

Disclaimer: I clearly don't own X-men evolution or any other aspect of the entire X-men enterprise.

Chapter 1: My name is Rogue

* * *

Dear Jean...what? did you honestly think that i was going to say dear diary when we both know you're the only person reading this? Right. I didn't think so.

So listen. Here's the deal. I'm not smart. I'm not going to lay it all out for you in scientific terms. If you wanna know why i'm not the easiest person to get along with or why i keep my distance from people then you're going to have to figure it out for yourself. i'll keep this stupid diary of the day's events and i'll tell you how i'm "feeling" without holding back if that's what you want but you're setting yourself up for a whole world of confusion and incoherent thought. I'm not a linear thinker. This is as organized as it gets:

My name is Rogue. That's right; just Rogue. But believe me when i say that i'm not one of those ditsy, bottle blonde sluts who works at Hooters and introduce themselves as "just Candy" or "just Bambi." I'm just not one to share. I'm 5"4. Sure it's short but that's just me, take it or leave me. Some people describe me as Gothic but that's just bullshit. It's just a label. So what if i wear lots of makeup and dark clothing. It's not like i aspired to fit into a certain steryotype. Like "Hey, when i grow up i'm going to be a goth!" I just like the individuality that my hair expresses with it's dark auburn colour and single white stripe or the shock value i see on people's faces when they see my nose ring or eyebrow peircing.

Sure, i like people who like the same things as me...who doesn't. That doesn't mean i'm interested in clicks or groups or whatever. I'm just drawn to people who are similar to me. But that's not always the case. Take a look at the friends i've made so far if you don't believe me.

Okay...well...friend. If you can call her that. We've only spoken a few times since i got here one week ago but she seems nice enough. Of course she has some attitude...otherwise i wouldn't bother with her.

When she fist introduced herself i thought she was a complete valley girl but about a second later she turned around and slugged some guy named Lance. She has a pretty great right hook. I can respect that. Her whole 'everything's right with the world' attitude can be annoying at times. I mean seriously. Who can be that happy all the time!? The only time she frowns is when Lance is around but personally i just think there's some sexual tension there. Some MAJOR sexual tension. Even if she denies it.

I wonder if she notices how is "tortured" eyes are constantly watching her while she giggles and messes around with her friends. Or maybe she's constantly giggling and smiling to show Lance that he doesn't intimidate her. I'll have to ask her when we're better aquainted.

If i hang around long enough.

That doesn't mean i'm going to run away Jean so you can stop mentally texting Professor Xavier. It just means that i move a lot. And not always of my own volition.

So what else did you want me to write? Oh yah. Here are the people i've met so far though i don't see how this is relevant. The first person i met was this amazonian red head named Jean Grey. Oh wait...that's you! You picked me up from the airport and my first impression of you was that you are every man's wet dream. How do i "feel" about Jean Grey? Well, i'm a bit biased because of her chosen proffesion as resident Psychiatrist but in general...you annoy me. A diary Jean? A diary!

After that was the guy that drove us back from the airport. Your boyfriend right? Scott Summers. Better known as Cyclops...which personally i don't get. Sure, his powers come from his eyes but HELOOOO, note the plural. Eyes. He has two of them! Whatever. Can't fault your taste though...the dude is like sex on legs. He has that whole wounded brooding attitude.

Then there was the professor...i'm smart enough to know not to think poorly of him, nevermind write poorly of him. The dude can read minds!

Kitty was next but we've been there and done that. She was talking to kurt and Bobby at the time. I jus want to put this out there right now...Kurt both pisses me off and greatly amuses me. I'll deny this if you mention it to anyone but i think his power owns noobs. I'll also deny that i said owns noobs. Bobby's another looker. I dunno what you guys do out here. It's like you order all your men straight out of a catalogue.

Anyway...that was it for today but classes start tomorrow and who's to say i won't meet a whole shitload of freaks tomorrow? Not that it matters. Where's the fun in life if everybody's normal?

* * *

One more thing. Kitty just phased through my bedroom wall. Remind me to read her the definition of privacy while i'm kicking her ass.

* * *

**Okay...so this one's obviously shorter than it usually would be because it's just introductory but please...encourage me by telling me what you think. I don't want to write something that poeple aren't going to respond to :)  
**


	2. Remy LeBeau

Keeping My Distance

Chapter 2: Remy LeBeau

Dear Jean,

I've had a very eventful morning. There's about ten minutes left till my next class so let's get some of this out of the way. I'll write to you again when the day's over alright sugar?

Here we go. I'll give you a very detailed account of my morning's events. I woke up when the sun rose because i can't stand to waste my time and immediately got into the shower. I like the shower and i don't care how random that sounds...i was just stating a fact. It gives you time to be alone in a house full of people. Time to think, reflect, admire,...breath. Nobody interupts right? Well, except for Kitty and her intrusive powers but she'll think twice before busting in on me again!

Anyway, skipping all the boring shit. I went to my morning defense classes and then kitty and i went to lunch. I think we're growing closer if that makes you feel better. Look, the Rogue has a friend. Awwww. Whatever.

Kitty saw Kurt and moved to sit with him immmediately and i don't know if i was aprehensive or anxious to join him. That bugs me. When i can't peg people, i mean. It bugs me when they don't fit into a little perfect slot in my mind. I don't know if you realised this yet but i generally enjoy being in control of a situation.

Of course, immediately after we sat down i regretted it. I was right to be aprehensive. Truth is, Kurk has a major crush on Kitty. Whenever she's around he goes insane. Complete show off mode. It would have been amusing if Nightcrawler hadn't taken over.

Well, i guess that's not exactly how it works. nobody really explained it to me but Kurt's normal appearance is just a hologram right? He's actually blue?

So anyway, i guess there was a wardrobe malfuction but next thing i know i'm wearing a strawberry milkshake that nightcralwer's tail was brandishing like a weapon.

I was none to happy with that. I may have snapped at him a little too harshly. Just a little.

Now that i think about it I wasn't very...tactful.

Back to my disastrous day. Today is laundry day. I told you in the beginning i wasn't smart. So of course, i didn't realise that throwing all of my clothes into a hamper and dropping them in the laundry room would lead to me having absolutely no back up clothing in case of an accident. And presto! an accident happened.

Cursing Kurt for all he was worth - did I mention that i'm an avid user of profanity when speaking verbally? - i asked Kitty if i could borrow some clothes. Bad idea. She seemed to think i was asking for some kind of Fashion show which, for the record, i was not! Here comes issue number three. My boobs are bigger than hers and she's taller than me. Do you know what this means?

Well, for one thing, i'm stuck wearing a skirt because her pants don't fit me in the leg, and for another thing, the shirt is uncomfortably tight. That's right. I look like a tramp. A tramp in a pink t-shirt and denim skirt. Pink! My southern blood boils just thinking about it.

* * *

Gambit? Gambit?! For a name that means something akin to a strategic move the cajun isn't as smooth as he likes to think. Sorry, i'm rambling again.

I met someone new this afternoon. Actually, i met a lot of someones new. The minute I put on that stupid skirt and top there was like an instant change in the male population of the school.

I have used my powers more today than i think i've ever used them in my life. The good news is my powers have certainly improved. I was able to knock people out without killing them or permanently harming them and i was able to block most of the memories I absorbed. All in all i'm certainly impressed with my own progress.

It's funny...i've been living with me for seventeen years and I still manage to surprise myself!

Before you get all high and mighty with me about using my "gifts" on fellow x-men, just let me appeal to your feminist side. They grabbed at me Jean. Like sexually assaulted me. Some of them only made comments but i was already in a bad mood. A really dark mood.

Enter Remy LeBeau. He walked right into me. I kind of jumped to conclusions because I was really pissed off - as previously mentioned - and i may have accused him of being a big pervert. Well, he put me in my place pretty quickly. I would have laughed at myself if i wasn't mortified. Which was probably why i lashed out at him further. I've made quite the enemy Darlin'. Here...let me give you a play by play of our coversation starting from where he bumped into me.

Me: "Hey! Watch it!" (Yes Jean, i sound like i'm being rude. But really, I was just worried for the other person's well being. My legs were bare. What if I had hurt this random stranger by accident?)

Him: I am sorry Petite. My mind must have been elsewhere.

Me: yah, in the gutter.

Him: Sorry to dissapoint cherie, but i prefer ma women fully dressed. That is, until I have charmed dem out of der garments.

Me: (flabbergasted)

Him: Don't worry Cherie, I leave da ladies breathless everywhere I go. (There was the most infuriating smirk on his face, I swear!)

Me: Trust me Sugar, I've left quite a few men breathless myself. (and then, just to prove my point, i took one glove off and cupped his cheek. BAM...instant breathlessness. What? he deserved it for being so smug!)

I know what you're thinking Jean. This is just furthering your view of me as some kind of anti-social freak but I have my reasons for keeping my distance. From men especially. Do you know how I found out I was a mutant? I was fifteen years old and my parents left me home alone for the weekend. Alone Jean. So, naturally, the first thing i did was invite a boy over. I was quite popular with the boys back then.

We were acting all shy and innocent but eventually we ended up making out on the couch. He was in a coma for three weeks. Three weeks. I did that to him. The boys stopped taking an interest in me and i stopped wishing things were different. Hope is for the weak.

At any rate...I left Gambit (his x-men name that i absorbed along with his powers and memories) lying on the floor, mildy knocked out. I'm sure that by tomorrow he'll stay just as far away from me as the rest of the boys in this school have since i started demonstrating my power this afternoon.

Ah, the lonely life of a Rogue...

That was a joke Jean. I don't need further therapy. I'm not lonely. Well...not very.


	3. The Strangest Dream

Keeping My Distance

Chapter 3: The Strangest Dream

Dear Jean,

Do you analyze dreams? Is that another psychiatry thing. Because let me tell you sugar, i've been having some mighty weird ones. I'm going to tell you what they are but first you have to swear in your head the you won't tell a soul! done? good.

Okay, so here's the deal. At first I thought I might have actually absorbed someones memories but seeing as how I don't recognize anyone that's probably not it. Here goes. In the dream I look down at myself and all my clothes are tattered and torn and I'm not even wearing shoes. Everything is like a blur and I'm stumbling around on the street and somehow I know that I'm practically starving. Then the dream dissipates and suddenly I'm back on the same street except now I'm creeping along in the shadows like I have some sort of secret purpose.

The next thing I know I've slipped my hand into some woman's purse and pulled out her wallet! I get nearly everyone on the street before I call it a day and return to some rickety looking hold house. The last thing I see before I wake up is an ace of spades exploding in midair. Isn't that weird? I have no idea what the connection is.

I keep thinking I must have absorbed someone's memories but I've absorbed so many this week that I can't keep track. Besides, the images seem so real. It's never like that when i see someone else's past. So vivid. I must have a really strong paranormal connection with this person or else my powers are finally improving.

I think it would be interesting to find this person and talk to them again. It's nice to know that not everybody here grew up in some priveleged home, became head cheerleader when they went to highschool, and has never had any problem with the fact that she's a mutant! Sorry Jean...that wasn't necessarily a personal dig. I could have been talking about anybody!

Maybe I'm jealous. Take it as a compliment.

So what exactly do you do when you read these? Do you take notes or something. Rogue: very antisocial. Rogue: pushes people away through insults and dark, menacing looks.

Speaking of which, I wasn't really glaring at you in the cafeteria yesterday...it only looked like I was. For all you know i was glaring at that smug frenchman who was standing right behind you.

But don't overanalyze that. It's not like I feel threatened by the fact that he won't leave me alone. I don't! But if he winks at me one more time I'll have to gouge his pretty little red eye out. Does he have some kind of a deathwish?

I mean, I like him as much as a swamp rat likes a baby alligator. And if you grew up down south you'd know that that's not a lot. Wait. In that analogy i'm the prey and he's the predator...that's not right. Right?

God i hope not. What kind of man chases after a woman who could kill him with her bare hands? Not a sane one, that's for sure.

* * *

I was right...he's insane! I mean...the level of insanity is off the charts! If you ask me he's in the wrong type of institute.

I think he's stalking me. He's everywhere i go. This afternoon I realized that he is in every one of my classes. Every single one. I bump into him in the hall. Suddenly he's friends with my friends. He takes a bathroom break at the same time as me. That's abnormal right?

Remy Lebeau simply won't leave me alone. It's like he's inside my head and knows where I'm going to be before I do. It's some freaky paranormal connection!

He drives me insane! The first time i saw him after the...incident...he gave me the elevator look (you know the one where they size you up head to toe? and then sometimes it's like the elevator broke somewhere around your chest or your mouth and they just stop and stare? yah) and then he just gave a low whistle and mumbled the words 'much better'.

I was so tempted to crawl back into kitties t-shirt but i figure the unwanted attentions of one male are better than the unwanted attentions from a hundred more.

Anyways, back to my little narrative. So today, after the whole glaring thing, he randomly comes up to me while kitty and Lance were arguing so there was no one to witness it of course and all i was thinking was 'damn, without witnesses i can't claim sexual harassment.' when he said something so ludicrous I almost wanted to laugh!

Him: I know I'm good looking cherie but must you always stare? It is getting embarrasing! (and there was the smirk.)

Now...I realize most normal girls play coy with someone like him but NEWSFLASH...I'm not most girls. And I'm certainly not normal. So i attacked the problem directly.

Me: What do you want from me? If you're just looking for someone to piss off than mission accomplished. If you're looking for something else than your shit out of luck because we both know that I can't touch you without you rolling over and playing dead. (Not that i want to touch him or anything. I was just making a point.)

Him: Remy Lebeau likes a challenge.

And then he left. Can you believe it? My mind is still reeling. I can't believe he actually said that. Now what?

It's like I have my own personal campus stalker. I guess he's going to learn the hard way that nobody can get close to me without getting hurt. Stop analyzing that Jean.

Well, at least I'll never be bored.

* * *

**Okay, so yes..the wait was longer this time but hey...in general this is a good update time for me. well okay, it's average. Neway, my laptop needs to be repaired before the semester starts so I definitely won't be updating anytime this week.**

Review plz :) They make me want to post!


	4. I is Having Good Time

Keeping My Distance

Chapter 4: Oops!

Dear Jean,

You're a student right? This means that I can talk to you on a teenager to teenager level without getting in trouble with you as a teacher….I hope. Oh well, what's a little trouble anyways. Besides, I trust you…a little bit. As much as I'm able to trust anyone anyways.

Don't analyze that.

As I was saying, I'm going to tell you about a top-secret student-only event that is coming up in a couple of hours because I, for some reason, am actually excited to go. It's a PARTY! I haven't been invited to a party since I almost killed Dawson at the age of fifteen.

I'm not complaining and I'm certainly not hurt by the fact. I can accept that my power sucks and that normal people will generally want to stay away from me. I just haven't yet accepted that there are actually other people with other powers that suck who actually want to hang out with me. It's a bizarre feeling. Almost a good feeling. And I don't have a lot of those.

Are you coming to the party Jean? Pretty, popular little sugar like you must be invited to these mutant parties all the time…not to mention the real ones. This is how you know that there will be alcohol there.

Now, I'm not generally one to drown my sorrows in the bottle and I have to keep my head about me so I don't go around touching people but I'm interested in getting a little bit of a buzz. It helps to know that if something does go wrong I'll be in a room full of people who can protect themselves.

Okay Jean, got to go get dressed. I'll record the night's events later on if you like. That is…if you don't see them for yourself.

Later Gator!

* * *

I is having good time. See sex on legs…Everywhere. Remy look good. Me thinks he likes me. OW THAT TICKLES. Oops. Have to say that out loud. BYE!

* * *

Ouch. My head. Don't worry Jean. I promise I can be coherent now. Well, as coherent as I get. I'm sorry about last night's little message. I would have erased it but someone convinced me that I wanted to write it in permanent marker.

I really hate the reminder of how stupid I was acting though.

And Remy did NOT look good. And I do Not enjoy being tickled by him. And I didn't enjoy that he was paying so much attention to me. And I don't appreciate that he took care of me and made sure I got home safe. And I didn't like how he tucked me in and made sure I had everything I needed.

And he certainly couldn't have like how I kissed him. I didn't hold back, that's for sure. Poor boy. Kitty and Kurt sure had a laugh at that. Kurt was actually being normal for one thank God.

The last thing I remember before drifting off is how they both chuckled at his predicament before Kurt phased Remy back to his own room.

I hope he doesn't remember every detail of what happened like I do. It could make things between us a little more weird then usual. Not like I care what he thinks though Jean…I really don't.

I don't care about Remy LeBeau at all. But I had a good time last night. I feel like I belong…sort of. And on the plus side of things Sugar, I didn't hurt anyone last night…at least, no one who didn't deserve it.

By the way, did you see how Kitty was all over Lance last night? Me thinks she dost protest too much. She has the biggest crush on him. She didn't even hit him last night. Poor Kurt. Oh well…I'm sure he knows that he doesn't stand a chance. At least she doesn't encourage him.

Anyways Jean, I have to get to class.

I have a feeling things might be Awkward today.

* * *

**Hi Everyone. I'm so sorry about this ridiculously long wait. I've just had a lot of things happen to me since I was last on. I've been very very busy. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and i promise that updates will be much more frequent now. **


	5. Only Where it Counts?

**Keeping My Distance **

**Chapter 5: Only where it Counts?**

Dear Jean,

Why is it so difficult for people to understand the concept of rejection? It's not like I asked for people to pay attention to me. I'm not here to make friends...I'm just here so that I don't make enemies. So if I didn't specifically ask for the appreciation then why is it so hard to believe that I don't want any of it?

Jean, people around here look at me like I'm some kind of crocodile with wings! So what if my power is different? So what if it's ME who's different? Like I said I didn't ask for any of it. And it doesn't exactly help when you wave to me in the halls or call out my name all familiarly. What kind of freshman has Jean, cheerleader extroadinaire, mental mindfreak (no offense), proffessor's pet, Grey as a close personal friend? Want to know the answer? Apparently just one. And the lucky girl just happens to be me.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't allow you so much access to my head. I would be embarrassed if I actually gave two shits.

So let's get back to it right?

I know it seems as though my diary is becoming more of a venting novel about Remy Lebeau but I feel as though I actually need your help in understanding him…and my reaction to him.

I just never know what to say to him…like Never.

I know I shouldn't have kissed him. Trust me, I regret it. Everytime he opens his beautiful mouth I regret it.

I was minding my own business. I was just walking to the cafeteria to make sure that Kitty wasn't killing Lance in her quest to make it apparent that she "doesn't" like him when he bumped into me. Literally.

I'm actually starting to wonder if he's partially blind. How do you walk into someone so many times? Unless it's on purpose right? Exactly my opinion at the time.

Me: Oy, stop walking in to me as an excuse to feel me up!

Him: Cherie, you wound me.

Me: Not yet, but give me time.

Him: Ouch. Do you ever injure yourself with that sharp wit of yours?

Me: Um, actually, I'm pretty sure the purpose of sharp wit is to injure the person your using it against. So tell me, is it working?

Him: Unfortunately for you petite, non. I am, how you say, resilient?

Me: I think the word your looking for is thick.

Him: Only where it counts Cherie.

Me: (flabbergasted-an emotion I am becoming used to when I'm around him)

And then he walked away…he always has the best exits. Lucky basterd.

Whatever, I give up. It's probably not a good sign that I remember our conversations so detailed. Let's just say that I remember everything so vividly so that I can retell it to you.

Anyways after I had regained my oh so fragile composure, I wanted to tell Kitty all about it so I coud bash Gamby-Pamby without being analyzed. I didn't find her in the caf so i looked for her in her room.

BIG mistake.

Hey Jean, how do you feel about teens and sex?

I didn't know how to feel about it either. Other than grossed out. And you'll never guess who it was. Kitty of course, that's a given...and I bet you're thinking she finally gave into Lance's begging...um nope!

It was the last person in the world anyone would expect...KURT. you can't tell anyone...because she'll kill me. But, I just wanted to get something off my chest. I think she only did it to prove to jurt that she doesn't like Lance. And i think in the process, she's gonna hurt him Sugar. I might actually ned your help.

Maybe you could talk to her? Without mentioning the incident of course...Because did I mention she'll kill me?

She will...i swear.

By the way Jean…you don't have to stop waving to me in the Halls. I did a bit of analyzing myself and I realize that it's simply a part of your personality.

Besides, it's nice to have friends…and I won't even bother to tell you not to analyze that because you never listen to me anyways.

**Sorry Guys…I won't even promise to update soon, it seems I only write when I'm stressed out and am taking a break from exams…I hope this is something you look forward to occasionally.**

**Let me know what you think or what you want to see from ROMY in the future. **


	6. To journal or not to journal

Chapter 6: To journal or not to journal

* * *

What the hell were you thinking Jean? Fine, maybe you couldn't justify having a conversation with Kitty without having any just cause but why the hell would you mention that I told you?

Major invasion of privacy on my part Jean. I shouldn't have even mentioned it to you. Do you ever come through for anyone? Apparently not. Neither Kitty nor Kurt will talk to me Jean. Who does that leave me with? Hmmmm, let me think…no one?

I don't even want to write in this stupid journal anymore. Thanks for being such a great friend.

* * *

Rogue threw the journal into Jean's mailbox and slammed the lid shut with such a force that a passing sophomore jumped in surprise.

"What are you looking at?" she growled under her breath. Rogue hated it when she drew attention to herself.

Whatever, who needed friends anyways? They only cause drama and pain. What the hell was Kitty so upset for anyways. It was her own damn fault. Someone would have found out anyways what with how loud Kurt was being. Ew.

Rogue heard a familiar easy-going whistle and instinctively ducked down behind a statue in the hall. Damn! Why did she do that? If he spotted her she was going to look so-

"What are you doing Cherie? You look-how you say-ridiculous. Did you drop something?"

"Of course I dropped something. Why on earth else would I be crawlin' around on the floor like some kind of lizard?"

"I see. I thought perhaps it was because you were hiding from a certain debonair French gentlemen."

"Har Har."

Remy listened to Rogue's ironic drawl with a smile on his face. How could such a beautiful woman have such an irritating personality.

"Could you use some assistance mon petit chou?"

"No. Go Away."

"Okay. Aurevoir ma belle fille."

Rogue watched Remy walk away for two seconds before she made the decision to follow him.

"Why did you give up so easily? Where's the disastrous parting line I've come to expect from you?"

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't want to force my company on such an unwilling companion. Though you were not so unwilling the night you kissed me out cold."

Rogue had no come back. What was she supposed to say to that. It was true that she had kissed him and it was also true that she had liked it and wanted to do it again. The worst part of all of that was not the indecision and turmoil though, it was the fact that Gambit knew it was there and that he was playing with it.

Feeling the need to uphold her pride, Rogue tilted her nose to the air and said in barely a whisper, "Fine then. Go if you feel like it. Nothing is stopping you."

And he did the unexpected, once again. "Nothing but the frantic pitter-patter of your heart Mon Coeur," and he crossed to where she stood and kissed her.

He kissed her for a while ten seconds this time before he shuddered once and hit the ground.

Rogue touched her lips and bent down to make sure he didn't have any lasting trauma. Then she headed back for Jean's mailbox.

Shit. There was no way she could keep that to herself.

**Hope you enjoy it :)**


	7. I think I need Mental Help

Chapter 7: I think I need Mental Help

Dear Jean,

I am pre-emptively stating that you are, under no circumstances, to analyze the following statement:

I am in like.

A lot of like. Creepy, obsessive, scarily unlike myself, repulsive LIKE. I despise myself. I disgust myself. I am a horrible, hypocritical, waste of brains.

I can't even stop myself. All I do all day is think about him. I think about his stupid hair and his goofy smile and that beautiful flower he made for me.

Oh. I guess I kept you out of the loop Sugar.

I've clearly been too distracted to write down one southern sounding syllable. I met a boy. And I do mean boy because he is far to gentle to be a man.

And I sound like a ditzy sap. BLAH BLAH BLAH I met someone.

You don't give a shit but since I can't say this mushy crap out loud, here goes:

After I wrote the last entry to you about you being a crap friend, (sorry by the way,) I ran into Remy. He was really unusual. He spouted some bologna about leaving me alone and then he kissed me….which I set out to tell you but you had already read the journal. Oops.

Anyways, since then he actually has left me alone. Maybe he finally got the hint when I left him there lying on the floor for the umpteenth time.

Whatever.

So then, being a total wank and feeling sorry for myself (boo hoo , I can't kiss a boy…boo hoo, Kitty and Kurt hate me…wah wah wah) I went to class…and was there on time.

Which is weird.

And in my regular seat, there he was. Beautiful Bobby. Iceman. The mutant who took one look at my sad face and made me a crystal ice flower so beautiful that I wanted to cry. Of course I didn't dare. Everyone was staring...including Remy, who looked like he would like to punch Bobby in the face. There was no need for that though because I did it for him. No one embarasses me like that in public.

Bobby wasn't discouraged in the least.

Long story short, I am in like. Kitty won't talk to me. Kurt won't talk to me. Gambit avoids me like the plague and I cannot figure out why. And Bobby takes every chance he has to make me smile.

He says I look a lot less scary when I smile.

And I hate myself. I was just smiling thinking about Bobby telling me he likes my smile. How pathetic. Now, I can assure you, I am not smiling.

Maybe this time I will make an exception Jean. Feel free to analyze.

I think I need mental help.

I'll write more after class...it should be interesting. Remy, Bobby, Kitty, Kurt, and Lance will all be there. Yay.

* * *

Sorry, no Gambit in this chapter…but the plot thickens!

AND I UPDATED!


	8. The Banana Condom Route

**Keeping My Distance**

Chapter 8: The banana condom route

* * *

Dear Jean,

Class was…uneventful. I think Bobby is afraid of getting punched in the face again. He Didn't say one nice thing about me in front of everyone…which is good. I guess.

Remy and I were playing tag with our eyes. Or at least that's what Kitty said…when she started talking to me again. You know, after she called me a rat and a backstabbing bitch. She seems to get over things fairly quick though. I can appreciate that. I'm more of a grudge person myself but in retrospect its never really gotten me anywhere.

Kurt does not get over things so easy. He won't talk to me still (you must have really embarrassed him…I hope you didn't do the condom banana thing) and he isn't talking to Kitty either. I don't know why but she doesn't seem to care so I think I'll stay out of it this time.

But just this time.

* * *

I think this goes without saying but there is not to be any analyzing whatsoever done at this exact moment in time…by ANYONE.

Bobby asked me out on a date.

I felt inexplicably happy for about two whole seconds and then I said no. I don't know why. And I know you are probably thinking that I am just pushing people away but your completely wrong. And I'll tell you why… because about a second later I asked Remy out on a date. Right in front of Bobby.

I don't know why. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe all that bullshit Kitty was saying about the rush of the chase was sticking with me because I acted completely out of character.

Maybe I'm a vindictive little bitch. Maybe I just want Bobby to leave me alone. Maybe I know that he's way to good for me and I could never deserve a person like that. Probably because I don't feel like I can be myself around him.

He's a very nice person but I just don't think we're compatible.

With Remy, on the other hand, I can definitely be myself. I don't have to be friendly, I don't have to talk, or smile, or do anything that I don't want to do. I am just me.

The only problem is that now I have to go on a date with him. I think talking is required but I'm not really familiar with the protocol.

* * *

Dear God Jean, just kill me.

Why? Why did I do it? Why didn't I listen for the gross grunting before pushing open the door.

I think this is going to be a regular occurrence with kitty. She's a bit of a slut. At least she can melt into the floor in shame every time I catch her. That makes me feel a little bit better.

Lance on the other hand cannot melt away. This in turn left a very naked (relatively good looking) man lying face down on MY BED.

MY BED. MINE. The fucking bed I sleep in.

WHYYYYY?

I'm gonna kill her. I really don't think the banana condom route was the best route for you to take Jean.

I think it's time you take some firmer action. Maybe get a few nasty pictures of Sexually Transmitted Infections. Some Herpes…maybe a little Gonorrhoea. There's nothing like a bad case of the clap to make people refrain from sex.

I would know.

Just Kidding. I promise you Jean, I am now, and will forever be, a big fat Virgin. Not necessarily by choice, but a virgin none the less.

Which is why I am perfectly qualified to show Kitty the pictures myself. You just stay out of it because if this date with Remy doesn't go well (and I have a feeling it won't) the I will need Kitty to be on speaking terms with me.

Ah well, c'est la vie.

And that's just a common expression Jean. I'm not using the French language for any reason in particular Okay?

Speaking of French, I have a date to be getting to.

Ps. Don't tell Kurt.

* * *

I know I suck. Big time. Good news is that exams have thoroughly stressed me out and I am in the writing mood. You may have more from me in the very near future.

Please review. It was a very well-timed reader response to this fic that made me write this chapter today. Thank you Twi-Hard.


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